So it's nearly the end of January, and I've recently been thinking that I should make some changes. That's right, I'm a little behind the times. But come on, it's still very early in the year, so who cares if I'm about 4 weeks past the traditional January 1 deadline?
Here's the thing: I've been stressed. Moving was stressful, the holidays (juggling kids, traveling, etc) were stressful, the winter snowbound months are stressful, and some of my friends' lives are stressful. I don't deal with stress that well. I sleep more and eat more. In the grand scheme of things, that's not so bad: I'm not drinking myself to death or doing drugs or grambling away the family fortune (ha!). But I'm still numbing. I'm still coping instead of dealing.
So, it's time to deal. Or at least be more open to dealing with the stress, the crap, the worries that I push aside: "Will this move work out?" "How am I going to survive with these kids?" "Will my friends be okay?"
My solution, or resolution, has come to this: I'm going to attempt to spend the next 3 months eating less and praying more. By eating less, I mean limiting what I eat (not how much, necessarily). Confession: I love carbs. Love them. It could be called an addiction. So for the next 6 weeks or so, I'm sticking to protein and veggies. TORTURE! No seriously, it's torture. I started this pseudo-fast on Monday, and it's only by the grace of God (not kidding) that I'm still doing it. The first two days were rough. But I'm trying to seek God when I feel like seeking food. It feels like such a lame substitute (please God, don't strike me down!), but it's true. My goal is to find moments when I can be alone, when I can talk to God and maybe hear from Him.
After four days of plain chicken and green peppers and cheese-less omlets, I decided that tonight needed to be something to look forward to. After all, it's a Friday night and Keith has made it though another week of classes and I've made it through another week of frigid temps and snow and home bound drudgery. So I found this Rachael Ray beef with broccoli recipe- it's like takeout, only healthier! And I was able to make it and pull out my portion before I added the noodles (bummer, I know)- so it followed my self-enforced guidelines. And it hit the spot. Thank you, God.
More to follow....
3 comments:
Great goals...I've been going to the gym three times a week and decided as well I needed to change my diet...mostly to eat balanced meals and not just one a day...and carbs is not what my body needs as well...so I hear ya and support you. There are so many areas of self dicipline not only physical but spiritual as well that are a challenge. Keep moving forward...spring is around the corner as well as the beach :-)
Get yourself a HUGE container of cashews (the salty kind). (And then help yourself to a small handful at a time.)
They are REALLY good for the cravings...and it's good fat.
B
Jean- the beach... ahhhh....
Bec- my faves are pecans, but I can't find salted ones, not even at my fabulous Wegmens... booooo....
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